Do you remember when you were a teenager and you would come home from a date, only to find your mom and dad still awake just dying to know what you did? Do you remember trying your hardest to make up something plausable so they wont know what you REALLY did? Seems like yesterday, huh? I remember thinking "why cant they just go to bed???,why are they always asking me questions?,good God I hope I dont smell like smoke.."
Well, im now the parent who waits for the teenager to walk in the door, as I pretend to watch a rerunned episode of Criminal Minds(Shemar Moore does help the time pass a little faster). I'm the parent who asks how the movie was, how the mall was, or whatever else they did ..all the while knowing EXACTLY what they did or at least tried to do. I know to smell the clothes, check eyes for that bloodshot look, necks for ,well, please dont make me say it..ugh ! Nothing really is going to get past me , not like it got past my parents...yeah right. My parents were pretty sharp , yet I actually thought they didnt know what it is normal teenagers do. I assumed their advanced age (they were in their 40's ) would prevent them from understanding what life was like for us teenagers.
Here's a little secret for all the teenagers. In our heads(your advanced age parents I mean) we are still there. we understand all too well the things that are awaiting you, things that are tempting you because they once waited for and tempted us. And it really wasnt so long ago, at least it doesnt feel like it. I can remember like it was yesterday telling my parents I was going to the movies but really just drove around going to places a 16 year old shouldnt go to. Or how it felt to get away with making out right in the same house with my parents , scary, exciting and a little guilty.
And I was a good kid , really didnt give them any grief...or did I?
Did they sit and worry until the doorknob turned at 11pm, able to finally let out a breath and possibly fall asleep now? Did they ignore the periods of silence in the house while cooking dinner and I disappeared(if only for a minute)with my boyfriend. Did they know? Well, if I had to now venture a guess , at 41, I'd say of course they did. Because I do. Sometimes I choose to confront my son, sometimes I let it go..depending on the severity of the teenage crime.Sometimes I yell, cry and vent to my friends...other times I just shake my head and laugh. he never notices me doing any of those things, because he is worried about himself.Just like I was.
Well he better enjoy that now because when he becomes a parent worrying about himself will fall somewhere below dusting the baseboards and regrouting tile...never going to happen again.
Coping with a teenager is definately an exercise in patience. It is a constant reminder of what we put our parents through and a monument to their love for us. Right now I just get through it by knowing that in the blink of an eye Zach will be sitting up pretending to watch an old rerun, waiting to hear that doorknob turn...
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Friday, June 8, 2012
Something finally worth watching on TV...and worth thinking about
The other night i was lying in bed, flipping channels , trying to find something worth watching . As most of you know, this is no easy feat today. I am sick of reruns of CSI, and I really dont care to watch old, fat rednecks fishing with their hands in murky , nasty lakes that i wouldn't be caught dead swimming in. So, as I was perusing the 150 channels I pay dearly for, I found an interesting documentary on HBO . Now, I am dangerously close to cancelling HBO as well ,due to there never being anything worthy of the 12.95 a month I pay, but the other night I found a gem in the midst of the all the crap that is usually aired.It was a documentary about a young woman who had breast cancer. Nothing new, right? There are always reality shows about people who deal with all kinds of sicknesses and situations, right? Well, this particular show caught my attention due to its honesty. This woman, a NYC millionaire who was living a life we all dream of, was diagnosed with breast cancer at a fairly young age. She is the single mother of 2 young sons, and a hedge fund broker, and a socialite.And now a cancer patient.
This show had the potential to play out like a oh, poor rich girl who can afford any treatment necessary , while most of the country can barely afford to get a check up at their MD. Instead of playing off the millionaire aspect, it played up the what the hell is wrong with this country's healthcare system aspect. And ultimately , that is why I did not change the channel. On this woman's journey through treatments, doctor appts, dibilitating side effects she meets "normal folks'. People who didnt have the luxury of early detection(like she luckily did), people who cannot afford different treatment levels due to insurance loop holes and people who will die due to not having the insurance coverage or the thousands of dollars necessary to supplement what is no longer deemed "necessary"in treatment. As I was watching this, I realized i was in the second group, I dont have the money to fund a dibilitating illness. I have insurance, yes. But it is not enough. And we are not a financially struggling family, but we definately are only a catastrophic illness away from being one.
The woman in the show donated millions of her own money to individuals who could not afford treatments, and gave up her hedge fund job, sold her 14 million dollar apartment in NYC and devoted her life to helping cancer patients, while she was one herself...She was battling nausea, hairloss, body image issues and trying to live day to day just like the "less fortunate" people who she was trying to help. I found this woman to be very inspiring, nnot just because she was able financially to help others, but because she realized we are all the same. Poor, rich, somewhere in the middle...cancer doesn't care. it will attack anyone, and anyone should be able to fight . sadly, in this country there are so many people unable to fight , not for lack of strength but for lack of resources.
In a country that people can be anything they want to be, I think being alive should be a primary option.
At the end of the show, one of her best friends lost their battle, due to the fact that her cancer was so advanced when it was diagnosed. she had no insurance.she was 44 years old. she was all of us.
The name of the show is The Education of Dee Dee Ricks, it's worth not flipping past.
This show had the potential to play out like a oh, poor rich girl who can afford any treatment necessary , while most of the country can barely afford to get a check up at their MD. Instead of playing off the millionaire aspect, it played up the what the hell is wrong with this country's healthcare system aspect. And ultimately , that is why I did not change the channel. On this woman's journey through treatments, doctor appts, dibilitating side effects she meets "normal folks'. People who didnt have the luxury of early detection(like she luckily did), people who cannot afford different treatment levels due to insurance loop holes and people who will die due to not having the insurance coverage or the thousands of dollars necessary to supplement what is no longer deemed "necessary"in treatment. As I was watching this, I realized i was in the second group, I dont have the money to fund a dibilitating illness. I have insurance, yes. But it is not enough. And we are not a financially struggling family, but we definately are only a catastrophic illness away from being one.
The woman in the show donated millions of her own money to individuals who could not afford treatments, and gave up her hedge fund job, sold her 14 million dollar apartment in NYC and devoted her life to helping cancer patients, while she was one herself...She was battling nausea, hairloss, body image issues and trying to live day to day just like the "less fortunate" people who she was trying to help. I found this woman to be very inspiring, nnot just because she was able financially to help others, but because she realized we are all the same. Poor, rich, somewhere in the middle...cancer doesn't care. it will attack anyone, and anyone should be able to fight . sadly, in this country there are so many people unable to fight , not for lack of strength but for lack of resources.
In a country that people can be anything they want to be, I think being alive should be a primary option.
At the end of the show, one of her best friends lost their battle, due to the fact that her cancer was so advanced when it was diagnosed. she had no insurance.she was 44 years old. she was all of us.
The name of the show is The Education of Dee Dee Ricks, it's worth not flipping past.
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