A work in progress

                           I'm worried. What's new, right? I'm a worrier sprung from a long line of NY Italian, catholic worriers. I worry about money, my health, my children (that will never subside) ,impending natural disasters, terrorism, West Nile Virus, ..you get the point. The one thing I have never had to worry about is my marriage. That has always come pretty easy for me. My husband(God love him!) has been with me for 22 years.  He met me when I was still teasing my hair and wearing a training bra. He stuck with my crazy, loud NY family even though he was a quiet, non-foul language using Southern boy.(I kind ofchanged that)He still quietly puts up with me, and my flaws(he won't tell me what they are for fear of hurting my feelings..)and wants very little in return.
                          Well, the last 15 years I have been a bit busy. Three kids, running a household, volunteering for everything like a good mommy..it leaves me kind of tired .Plus all the worrying wears one out also! So, because my quiet, hard working husband wants very little from me, unfortunately he fell behind on the priority list. That is wrong, I know. I love him just the same as the day he nervously asked me to marry him outside of a little Italian restaurant that is no longer in business, but we still are:) I just don't show it enough, and this is because I'm tired, overwhelmed with all that I have to do, trying to keep our lifestyle together. But lately he has let me know that I need to show him how I (still) feel. At first I thought he was whining, needing my attention like everyone else who lives in this house so I took his complaint with a grain of salt.
                         Over the past few weeks I have been trying harder as awife to be there for him. I never have to try as a mother, that just comes naturally. But as a wife, and in a good functioning fulfilling marriage , try we must. So , we are spending more quality time together like watchingour favorite tv shows together, going to bed at the same time together so we can catch up on the day, having Thursday afternoom lunch dates.Sounds painfully simple right? Almost boring, right? Well, believe it or not over the past few years, these things got away from us. So focused on the children(me) and making a good living(him) we let the simplicity of our realtionship slip away. And anyone in a long term relationship knows, that is a slippery slope...
                        Bottom line, he is the person I stood before God and 150 of our families closest friends , and chose to spend my life with. He is the person whose children I carried, he is the one who works sooo hard so I don't have to, and he is the one I picture my grandchildren (future, long in the future) playing with. We owe it to each other to carve out the time and be each others best friend. In the end, when the kids finally leave(they do leave right?) and our lives aren't quite so hectic we will be left with each other. I don't want to worry about "us" , so it's time to cultivate more "us" time. Because God knows there is soo much more to worry about out there than showing the person you love how much they mean to you.