Happy New Year (yet again)

                  Every year at this time I sit down and try to figure out what aspects of my life I want to change. What I want to be, or not be any longer. I am a lot like everyone else, the first 10 days of January are always a new beginning but then I slowly return to my old ways. Whether that be eating sugar(come on , no human can actually last through that resolution..) or going back to my daily Starbucks after a promise to save 100.00 bucks a month( my sanity is more important than that measley 100 bucks), I have always managed to be back to being, well, me. A high strung, caffeinated opinionated person who really would love to change. Maybe I (or all of us) have been going about this the wrong way.
                    Maybe instead of the seemingly negative things about ourselves ,we should focus on what we like about ourselves and improve on those qualities. This is no easy task, because I am sure everyone of us can rattle off what the hell needs to be improved about ourselves with no problem, but have a much harder time making a list of what is right with ourselves. I am sitting here struggling right now with this. I really can't think of too many positive things to improve on, and that is really sad. When did the negatives outweigh the positives in myself? Did it happen when I had children and realized I truly don't know anything and everyday I fly by the seat of my pants and hope to God I am not screwing them up? Did it happen when I began to look at myself in the mirror and find the flaws (which increase exponentially every year) full well knowing there is no reversal to aging? Did it happen when my older son began testing me almost daily, exhausting me and making me question my entire course of parenting? Who knows? I just want to change this, and maybe 2013 will be the year. I want to focus on myself a little more , maybe start to like what I see in the mirror again- not just physically-but inside. I dont know how I will go about this change, but I guarantee I will have a Starbucks  and some sugar while I find out.
                      Happy New Year and here's hoping your resolutions(no matter how big or small) last past the 10th!!!